Dealing with old people

Most everybody hates old people and treats them like garbage, but not me. I'm great at humoring people, which comes in handy when dealing with the elderly - pretending a story is interesting, retelling stories multiple times with the same enthusiasm, etc. They appreciate that.

One thing I'm really good at is teaching old people how to do something obvious on a computer without making them feel like idiots. I just say things like "I think" and "I'm not sure" even though I'm definitely sure. I might say "ummm" while I pretend to figure something out that I already know. Most people probably aren't as nice as me. It's just the way I was raised.

"How do you open the file? Ummm, let me see. Try clicking it. No? OK, well .... maybe try clicking it twice? Yeah try that. Oh! Well there you go! Who knew? I know, typewriters were the shit. What? Actually I don't think they like being called that anymore. I'm not sure, I think maybe some people find it offensive."

And off they go with confidence, feeling as if they're keeping up with the youth, and writing me into their will.