Still no metal bag exists

I was excited at the possibility of a metal bag that would blow my mind, but to this day no metal bag exists. How is it that we can invent seedless watermelons but not a metal bag? (Or cure cancer?)

In an earlier post, I wrote that I had been told a metal bag did in fact exist and was being used to preserve Subway olives. I contended that having a metal bag was like having a square circle, and that's still the case. I saw the bag this week, as promised, and I'm calling it a heavy, gray plastic. Not metal.

In the face of damning evidence, Subway girl still insists it is metal and we have agreed to disagree. But I'm right. Trust me.

Today - (double) meatball sandwich ... with bacon on top. God damn I'm the man.